“Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn’t sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim.” Paulo Coelho, author
Like I said and keep saying, eroticism is where it's at. That's the passion. You can learn more on the topic in "Eroticism Explained".