August: moving onward

I've been lying low since March, when my stepfather passed away suddenly. It threw life into perspective.  A lot has changed and much of it deep so it's hardly in anyone's view. Some things have to be dealt with alone.  I had a pretty good blog written as a synopsis of the past few months but it didn't save and quite frankly, who cares about the past anyway?  We end up as photos to sell or photos to save, and a few stories to the ones who remember us. Perhaps if we are lucky we leave a legacy but most of us end up dust like the ashes I buried with my mom. I'm not sure what life means from the matrix world we all have to exist in, but from my little island, life means time just got that much more valuable and precious to me and that's a game changer.

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To move forward, we move backwards: this week happens to be the one year anniversary of my showing in Las Vegas at the erotic museum.  I admitted on Instagram that I failed in my attempt for a new show by now, a promise I made a year ago. I figure divorce, death and debt are good justifications for the lacking output but I am going to give a huge go attempt for a small show in December in Savannah.

All the really difficult stuff of loss is behind me so I am itching to get lost in painting instead and recharge. That I have a few days a week I can dedicate a good solid 6 hours of painting on a regular basis for this next season is like handing me a little pot of gold because I've not had much of that since March and I miss the artistic state of mind, plus I have a great new pair of high heels to break in before I wear them in public. :) (I stand and pace quite a bit when I paint.)  

Refocus: I have three paintings almost done - not for the erotica show unfortunately but still, three works that need a few hours each and then I can begin posting.  I have one painting finished for the show but I can't reveal that one yet because it may or may not end up in the show.  The ideas are still building and commitments are tough at this stage.  I know. Artistic angst is so crippling.

I have a couple weeks before I begin teaching weekly so I'm planning lots of heavy painting time til then.  Being so out of practice for such discipline, I may have trouble sticking to this but you know, want it, do it. That's what it's going to take to catch up and still have time to do extra paintings for the ones that turn out wrong, awkward or loose the flow.  It's like an insurance policy; plus, sometimes paintings you thought would work in the final flow of a show just don't. 

When there's a deadline, there's a line between getting it done and doing it right so pacing oneself is super important.  I work on drawings between paintings to decompress from color mixing and practice weekly life figure drawing to improve my skills. I really don't feel like I get enough done.  I want to be 18, under my parent's care, in art school -- on solid birth control.

 life drawing sketch

life drawing sketch

 charcoal portraits

charcoal portraits

 life drawing sketches

life drawing sketches

Thanks for your patience and checking back to see what's going on with my art.  My devotion to it in February took an unexpected turn in March so I didn't get very far.  My 2nd attempt at painting devotion has basically begun and will continue until l have enough pieces for a December show. Exciting stuff!  Thanks for following along.

See the latest on my Instagram. - T