When the Leaves Fall, the Trees Show Themselves

In the Midst of Fall

In the Midst of Fall

As I process the past three year journey of painting (which primarily centered itself around Art Porn), reflect on my being a small business owner of an art school for two of those years, as well as life changes revolving my family, I have entered a bit of an overload where everything is fuzzy enough to make me scratch my head: "what now?", really is my question.

I've been drawing neutral tone portraits in charcoal. The black and white drawings settle the information down into a smaller spectrum for me so I can focus on other details than what painting in color allows. It's going back to the basics and reviewing what you thought you knew but now you know better so are your results begin to show it. That's how you can really see improvement.

I haven't been able to focus on art making. I try but other priorities take over and I find it difficult as an artist to do my self appointed job while balancing all that's on my plate to meet the needs of family and general life. 

Keeping disciplined to make art is up there with going to the gym or keeping up with the yoga membership: you must be truly committed and that's the fork in the road. I keep taking the path that leads to making art a priority no matter how derailed I get. It's so damn difficult but I'm not a production machine and I have to remember that.  

Through some personal force to create something fun, I've begun a new sexy painting that might go into my next erotic collection, something I've not had desire to create since the Vegas show ended, or actually, since my last painting "Back It Up" back in June.  That's a depressing thought right there: that's 5 months of no sexual or erotic art making. I've been drawing faces and a cathedral, all in charcoal - shades of grey, black and white. (I'm just following intuition on that one) I felt though, inner pressure to break the colorless eroticless momentum if I even wanted to think about making another erotic art collection for the upcoming year, which I do.

Often there's a rubber band stretching act between the needs of the inner artist and the needs of Tatiana's reality. It has to be sorted before the snap.  Winter couldn't come at a better time to go inward for creativity and answers, new paths and ideas. In these months I produce the most art. Hopefully by spring I'll be pretty in pink with new great work to show from the fall and winter inspirations. 

A happy autumn to you all. I am prepping for hibernation painting and channeling my energy into the right places of thought and creativity.  I can only try my best to make some good art as I move forward. Follow me on Instagram for the latest snippets of art I create.