New Art: Hindsight

What better ideas to pair than “Hindsight” and the New Year?

This painting jolted from me earlier in December. I’ve been focused to finish it before the year’s end to coincide with this new beginning called 2019. Yes, it’s only a new year but think of it, you have the gift of one. A family death last year still has me frozen from the reality of how quickly someone you love is there and how unfairly they can be taken away. One second and life is different. You have your own story. Death and loss are real, the black omen in the garden we ignore.

So “Hindsight” grew from that concept, the one that makes us so confused in our supposed, forward direction. We are in fact, actually turned backwards to the clarity. Our future turns out quite bright in hindsight, however, the road to get there is hardly ever so sunny or clear, as most of us know. The point, I think, is simply to keep proper perspective and keep moving forward with faith because in the end, that’s all that has our back.

As you reflect on your past year, I hope you’ve grown to know new perspectives and thus, grow new gardens and opportunities as a result.

Happy 2019 and much joy to you all!

Tatiana von Tauber

View more artwork on my website.

New Art: Her Monarchy

I've misplaced my quality SLR camera so I am unable to take proper art photos of my finished paintings until I find it. Pardon the phone pic quality but I do want to get this out and I can do a switch later.  As I complete the unfinished paintings that have been up against a wall for months, I have been hit with some questions about where this is all going. Being I'm designing a new life, art should be part of my main conversation.  

I had a terrific idea in May/June upon which to base the next art show on but it's kinda fizzled. There's been too much going on, too much of a mess to clean up from the fragments left by the sudden shift in life.  As I stated before, I paint very intuitively and recently, I've been struggling to reach that place because of the constructs of what I had envisioned for the next show, which wasn't intuitive: it was planned.  It was based on something very specific and I've not been able to pull all the pieces together. I tried to lay out the visuals I had and play with my compositions and it wasn't working and I don't feel the desire to figure it out in a rush to meet a self created deadline. This all has to be created in a proper state of mind or it won't be good enough and we all know what that feels like.

Instead I've shifted perspectives and gone back to some of what inspired me in the past.  I sifted through a small percentage of my past photography and realized I have a lot of beautiful paintings to be created from them.  I've known that for a while but never truly looked at them long enough to envision them out of what they were, which was photographs. I think it's a way to review and recreate what was never given the chance to be shown and make it into something new.  This idea allows more freedom in the flow of Being and I have felt much better about painting since. While it's the original idea I had when beginning erotic photography - to paint my photos - I pulled away from art in lieu of the lens.  It's kinda full circle to have that photographic imagery inspire the art I now want to create.  I'm interested to see how it will present itself as a full body of work.  I still plan a show in December.

I recently completed two paintings that have been waiting patiently for me to finish.  One I'm showcasing today: "Her Monarchy". This is different than my norm, I think.  I was pulled towards that difference, or maybe I got tired of the open leg concept.  I put it aside early this year and struggled to finish this piece but the butterflies were bright and cheerful and so I focused on that to get me through the bushes so to speak.  I'm happy with it. 

It's been very satisfying to return to regular painting time.  It's a healing and nurturing process, so let me get back to it. :)

Enjoy the new art.  

"Her Monarchy", acrylic on canvas, 20" x 20".  


August: moving onward

I've been lying low since March, when my stepfather passed away suddenly. It threw life into perspective.  A lot has changed and much of it deep so it's hardly in anyone's view. Some things have to be dealt with alone.  I had a pretty good blog written as a synopsis of the past few months but it didn't save and quite frankly, who cares about the past anyway?  We end up as photos to sell or photos to save, and a few stories to the ones who remember us. Perhaps if we are lucky we leave a legacy but most of us end up dust like the ashes I buried with my mom. I'm not sure what life means from the matrix world we all have to exist in, but from my little island, life means time just got that much more valuable and precious to me and that's a game changer.


To move forward, we move backwards: this week happens to be the one year anniversary of my showing in Las Vegas at the erotic museum.  I admitted on Instagram that I failed in my attempt for a new show by now, a promise I made a year ago. I figure divorce, death and debt are good justifications for the lacking output but I am going to give a huge go attempt for a small show in December in Savannah.

All the really difficult stuff of loss is behind me so I am itching to get lost in painting instead and recharge. That I have a few days a week I can dedicate a good solid 6 hours of painting on a regular basis for this next season is like handing me a little pot of gold because I've not had much of that since March and I miss the artistic state of mind, plus I have a great new pair of high heels to break in before I wear them in public. :) (I stand and pace quite a bit when I paint.)  

Refocus: I have three paintings almost done - not for the erotica show unfortunately but still, three works that need a few hours each and then I can begin posting.  I have one painting finished for the show but I can't reveal that one yet because it may or may not end up in the show.  The ideas are still building and commitments are tough at this stage.  I know. Artistic angst is so crippling.

I have a couple weeks before I begin teaching weekly so I'm planning lots of heavy painting time til then.  Being so out of practice for such discipline, I may have trouble sticking to this but you know, want it, do it. That's what it's going to take to catch up and still have time to do extra paintings for the ones that turn out wrong, awkward or loose the flow.  It's like an insurance policy; plus, sometimes paintings you thought would work in the final flow of a show just don't. 

When there's a deadline, there's a line between getting it done and doing it right so pacing oneself is super important.  I work on drawings between paintings to decompress from color mixing and practice weekly life figure drawing to improve my skills. I really don't feel like I get enough done.  I want to be 18, under my parent's care, in art school -- on solid birth control.

life drawing sketch

life drawing sketch

charcoal portraits

charcoal portraits

life drawing sketches

life drawing sketches

Thanks for your patience and checking back to see what's going on with my art.  My devotion to it in February took an unexpected turn in March so I didn't get very far.  My 2nd attempt at painting devotion has basically begun and will continue until l have enough pieces for a December show. Exciting stuff!  Thanks for following along.

See the latest on my Instagram. - T